I really shouldn't watch romantic films. They make me want to be held and loved. They put into sharp focus that I'm not. Urgh. But they also make me feel good. They make me hopeful that one day I'll have my sunset ending. What a paradox.
I don't want to be all secretive and stuff on here, so I may as well just use his name. If he reads it, he reads it, I guess. I dreamt of Rohan last night. It wasn't really a romantic, loved up dream. I think it was me dwelling on what he said after badminton, when he said he would come and see Watchmen with me but she would be coming too. It kind of had bearings on that. I don't know, it's a bit hazy now.
Ah, what to do. I'm half on the verge of getting wasted and just saying it to him. I'm so confused about how I feel but always there is the fact that I like him a lot and have always liked him a lot. I don't want to scare him off though. Argh. Complicated. I just want things to fall into place and just work for once. I hate not knowing things. I hate uncertainty. I want things to be black and white and for people to just say what they feel and not care about the consequences. I wish things were different. Hell, I constantly wish things were different and if they were different I'd probably wish they were different, too.
Damn you, Bridget Jones! When I think of Rohan I see just how different he is from the Colin Firth/Tom Hanks guy I picture in my life. But then again I am just a lowly girl, probably not worthy of the handsome English gentleman. (Yes, I know Tom Hanks is American!) Oh well, maybe things will look okay on the other side of tomorrow.
Ciao
xoxo
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Hey hey, it's me. It's nice to see you're all loved up with Colin Firth :P
If you do say anything to Roh, I wouldn't get wasted. That just automatically conveys to me, "oh, she was pissed when she said it, she didn't mean it." and you don't want that. I'd just sit down with him somewhere and say that you've had feelings for him for a long time, and that you'd like a relationship if he feels ready for once. But you'd want a relationship, and not a rebound. That's what I'd do anyway.
And you are not a lowly girl. Shut up. You are one of the best friends of a princess. That means you are not lowly. :)
Eh, I don't really know what else to say, except I hope you get your sunset ending, riding a horse with Colin and Roh all together :)
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