I want to live where soul meets body

I think, maybe, that I'm getting over it. I hope I'm getting over it. Now when I drive past where you live your car isn't there, which means that you aren't there. It doesn't hurt now, it kinda just aches a little bit. I'm not bitter and I'm not depressed, I just miss you a little bit. Just the tiniest of bits. And surely I'm allowed that? It's weird I thought you would be around forever, that you would never leave. You stayed true to your words though, I respect that.
It's difficult now to tell. Now that I'm happier with who I am and don't use you as a crutch, or can't use you as a crutch, if I needed you before. I was vulnerable and incredibly sad, and all it took to make it stop was either being with you or leaving you altogether. Odd, isn't it? Because all those times we were together I felt complete and happy and safe. But when I left although it ripped the dependence out of me, it left me stronger and I didn't need you to feel complete or happy. So really, did I need you? Or did I just think I did?
Oh well, I'm sure you're all sick of me writing and lamenting about him.

It turns out that I'm 18 in 42 days. Exciting but a bit scary too. I'm getting my tattoo as well, which is pretty exciting in itself. I just have to get the design down. Things are looking up. I miss Rin, but she moves into Lichfield in a week so I guess I should be happy about that. I'm just incredibly bored at the moment, what with no college and nothing really immediate to look forward to. (Exam results don't count as things to look forward to!)

I really want to go on holiday, loads and loads. But I don't know where and I don't have any money, which sucks, which reminds me I should really try harder to get a job. I just want to do something I love straight away and that's never going to happen, is it?

Anyway, I shall leave this here.
Bye x x x

What you feel is what you are.

Long time, no speak amigos! Things have been very strange over the past few weeks.

I passed my driving test, woop! I am now a legal, albeit very nervous, driver. I don't really like driving if I'm honest, it puts me on edge and makes me feel like I'm gonna die. So, I'm trying to drive only when it's essential. I would like my own car though.

Me, Rin and her family went to Amsterdam over the weekend. It was proper wicked. Would really like to go back again but I need to get a job. I'm so tired.

It's odd. I'm actually lost for words today. I want to be able to say something poetic and beautiful but I really can't find any words to describe how I feel. I mean, principally I'm OK. I just feel a bit melancholy now and again. I get sad that things are changing and I can't stop them. That I might not see certain people again. But at least I know that things aren't as bad as I thought they were. It's funny how a shred of something can change things just a tiny bit, make you feel that tiny bit better. Eye contact, fabulous.

Summer 2008 is upon us, not that you would know it. Going to Latitude in two weeks, looking forward to that, I hope the weather is nice though.

I really don't know what to say today, I just thought I would update a little bit.

Loves x