Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy...

I wrote this a while back. It really was a silly little idea that I decided to embellish on.

Here goes:

What’s it like to be in love? To have the tunnel vision, where all that matters is that one person, whoever it may be. When words sound strange and foreign from anyone’s lips but theirs. What’s it like to love someone unconditionally and for him or her to love you back? I only ask these questions because I’ve only witnessed love from the outside. I’ve only heard people tell their tales behind a pane of glass, and I’m torn over whether love is worth what it brings. More often than not I see people who destroy themselves for love, lose their essence, get worn down by it. Some people spend years of their lives at the bottom of a sea being eroded by an unforgivable tide. Love hurts people and reduces them to their worst.

There is another side though.

Love can bring out the best in people. I’ve seen people walk in here smiling, laughing, almost glowing. That is the love, if any, I would wish to possess. The love that endures and makes you feel like you can fly.

I only rehash the old clichés of course because they are words from other people’s lips. Not mine. How would I know? How could I know? I’ve spent this life (would you call it that?) observing the human race from the outside. Listening to them, their confessions. I am not a priest. They aren’t looking for forgiveness. It is their duty to offload. Healthy minds are essential and if people didn’t come to me they wouldn’t have anyone else and then what? They would go crazy. I made the sacrifice to help everyone else.

I hear people’s confessions from behind a glass wall. The physical barrier stops me from feeling their emotion, from comforting them. You cannot get too close and you cannot talk back. Only listen. Sometimes, I feel like I might go crazy sitting here. Everyday I wake up in the same clinical room that I call home. The walls are so white that it’s almost blinding when I wake up, the sun shines on one solitary point and I just lie there and wonder what it is like to feel that golden mist envelop you. Of course, I know it’s warm, but there are questions. What is it like to lie in the sun for hours and get sun burnt? Can you get lost in the beauty of it all? I sometimes feel that if I were to escape from here I would get lost in the flurry of colours and the promise of freedom. I like to imagine the world outside. I like to imagine what it would be like to be friends with the people who come and see me and I like to fill in the blanks about them, the things that they don’t tell me. I make that part the happiest, because a lot of the time their lives aren’t as good as they should be. So today is like any other except that I am reflective. Since I am not allowed any direct human contact other than to listen I am often left with my own thoughts and feelings. I don’t have any problems of my own, only what everyone tells me. There is no way to have your own dilemmas and trivialities when you live within four walls day in and day out. Other people’s problems become my own. I worry about what they will do about their lovers and their friends.

Ciao.
xoxox