I feel sick and unloved at the moment. Would it be too much to ask for a little comfort off my dear father? If I am sat there in the car, blubbing like a baby over something really insignificant then it's pretty obvious that I just need a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to. My father is not that man. He is the epitome of emotionally stunted.
I really didn't want to break today but it's getting so close and all the emotions were just bubbling up inside of me. Another factor is that I am tired and a bit fed up, which doesn't really help at all. I'm looking forward to my day off tomorrow even though I'll be caining my history coursework. Argh!
I just wish that all the shit would go away. I know I have the worlds best support system and they know that I am drawing as much strength from them as possible at the moment. I don't feel it's very fair and I feel bad for being such a drain. I am trying to rein it in and to measure my feelings a bit more.
I seem to say this a lot lately but I hate being shown as vulnerable. I don't want to be a vulnerable person. I want to be the rock I was told I was, not some crappy piece of paper that just gets soggy and falls apart. That's the best metaphor I could think of.
Anyhow,
Ciao
xoxo
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