I should run away...

I can't believe I let myself land here again. I was ready to drop you. So ready. I thought that all of it; the request, the message, all of that would come to nothing. And twice you have suprised me and at the same time scared me. All I wanted was silence. Why couldn't you have given me silence? I'm not sure where I stand now, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.
It's half term soon and I've been wondering if you will be coming down to see all the old people. If you are I am alone. I have the house to myself, and I would love to see you. I realise that is just a fantasy, though. I don't have any delusions.
Yes, I'm back at college and I'm enjoying it. I just wish I could see past it all. I wish I could prepare myself for my future, psychologically. I don't know. I guess I'm scared that being without family, and potentially old friends, it will lead back to me just letting it all slip and falling into bad habits. But that is the point of taking a risk, isn't it? Nothing is set in stone, nothing is for sure, just have to see what happens.

On happier notes I am loving Will Young right now. I've just seen that his new album is available on Napster, so I'm just listening to it now. I guess a lot of the stuff he sings about I can relate to. I have like four favourite songs at the moment:

1) Pink - So What?
2) Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire
3) McFly - One for the Radio
4) Will Young - Changes

I hope that means music is getting better because it's just drivel at the moment really, isn't it?

Hohum. So things are okay, I suppose. I'm carrying on with my life. Moving on up as they would say. It's been a difficult couple of weeks. A friend of 3 years has removed herself from my life and I won't lie and say it has been easy. It hasn't. I've missed her. But it's better for the both of us. I think we're much better off without each other. I don't talk about it much, but I suppose it's just good to see that she is happy and getting on with her life, which is always good to see.
I'm quite liking Will Young's album.

I saw Marc today. Of course most of you won't know what I'm talking about but isn't that what blogs are about? I kind of thought that if we were to see each other again one of us would turn to stone, burst into flames or die. Instead we just kind of acknowledged each other with a sidelong glance and walked on by. I think that is for the best!

Anyhow, I have 3 essays to write so I guess I better get down to those.


Au revoir!